When do I have to decide by?

To identify the themes present in the essays I had written this semester, I tried to think about what I was saying in the essays I had written, not just on the surface but what I was really trying to investigate and communicate. I found that what keeps coming up in my essays is the theme of “I really just don’t know the answer, and this is may be why I don’t know.” And to me, this is not too surprising, because that how I am feeling lately.

There has been a lot of pressure this semester to explain our philosophies, and reflect upon our own thoughts about complex decisions we will all eventually have to make, and to explain the direction we plan on taking as we live the rest of our lives. And to be honest, I don’t know, and I still think that’s okay, but the point of these essays is not to announce to the world what we want to accomplish with our lives, but instead, reflect upon what I think, what I think the answers may be.

What do I want to do with my life? Although I am not sure what I want to do, I am going to force myself to answer this question to the best of my ability for the sake of reelection and thought. I guess the best place to start would not be investigating possible career paths, but to instead lay out the things that I am interested in, believe in, enjoy doing, and the things I am not interested in.

I am interested in; technology, fine art, the idea of shared ownership

I believe in; helping people, enriching the lives of the lower middle class, being ethical, trying to help solve big problems

I enjoy; solving problems, working in a creative environment, working with nice supportive people, doing things that are exciting, doing things that are new and different, doing things I can be proud of to my friends and family.

I am not interested in; selling pointless shit, brainwashing people into buying things they don’t need, encouraging consumerism/overconsumption, working with selfish people, selling things I would never buy, catering to the ultra-wealthy

Now with that decided for now, I feel as though I cannot take the next step. It is impossible to think that I could decide what to do with my life before I ever get a chance to try it. As a student, I don’t see how I could pick a career path right now, when I have never experienced the carrier path I have chosen to take. I think what I will do before college will be to do the things that I enjoy, explore possible directions I could go in, take risks while they still aren’t truly risky, and get internships in diverse fields so that I can experience the professional world before graduating college while I still have a chance to make dramatic shifts in the direction that I want my career to go in. After college my plan is to try out as many different careers as I can until I get a better understanding of what I want to do and the work environment I enjoy. After that point, I guess I will just make more informed decisions about what I want to do with my life